Almost 33 years old

in roughly 2 mths time i will be 33 years old.. it feels like it was just yesterday when i was a little kid.. most of my childhood was spent in Kuching, Sarawak.. i was in standard 1 and when i left Kuching i was in form 3.. roughly 9 years.. with the exception of 2 years when i followed my Mama to Miami, Florida.. Abah was suppose to follow but something went haywire in the planning.. and then i was in MRSM Perlis, now known as MRSM Beseri for 2 years.. after my SPM.. i went to the United States of America again to pursue my degree.. this time on the west coast.. Los Angeles, California.. i came back to Malaysia with my Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering in April 1998.. 11 years on after working here and there.. this year is my third year working for the Government of Malaysia via Jabatan Kerja Raya..

overall i have experienced and achieved a lot of things in my life.. well there is always financial freedom.. but how to achieve that?? anything and everything in this world involves money.. so i dont think anybody on earth can truely achieve that.. that only leaves 1 thing that i havent achieve.. to find my one true love and soulmate.. seeing friends from way back walking around town with their wife/husband and kids.. really makes me feel that i am missing something and much worse it makes me feel lonely.. before i had set a target of getting married by 27 like Abah.. it has been 5 years since that target went past.. sighhh!!!!

i've had girlfriends.. so since i am still single.. u must guess something didnt work out along the line.. being the only child.. there are a lot of things that i have to think about.. most importantly must be "will my future wife be willing to live with my parents and accept them??".. "will my parents like the woman that i bring back to the house and introduce to them??".. guess thats y more and more grey hair keeps appearing on my head.. these questions are hard to answer.. how do i know that the woman is really sincere when she says that its ok to live with my parents..

being almost 33 i have been to so many weddings.. wonderful.. but what i hate most.. i have to answer the same old question.. "are you married yet??".. "when are you gonna get married??".. especially when i attend weddings of my relatives or friends of my parents.. i am so fed up with these sort of questions that i hesitate to attend another wedding.. i'd rather drive my parents to the event and wait in the car.. or if its a long wedding.. pick them up after they are done.. even if i am in that wedding i just cant wait to leave..

i'd rather not talk too long about this.. it makes me feel so much more depressed.. if i get over depressed i might just end up crying.. anyways i hope to end my search by 2010.. especially when the dates 10/10/10 or 20/10/2010 looks so good on the calendar.. with this i seek your divine help my dear ALLAH.. show me who and where this soulmate of mine is..